She recalls times when she was warned against appearing too aggressive and outspoken, because she might frighten prospective husbands, and she shares stories of female friends-both married and unmarried-who have had to efface themselves to please men. Boys are raised to be aggressive and stoic, while girls are raised to please boys and to consider marriage as a central goal. She tells us that her American female friends have experienced a similar social pressure to be compliant and invisible, even when they hold positions of power: “What struck me is how invested they are in being ‘liked’” (23).Īdichie suggests that boys and girls are taught inflexible gender roles, a situation that hurts both sexes equally. In addition, she notes that Nigerian taxi drivers and waiters regularly ignore her and treat her as an appendage to her male friends. She remembers how, as a young girl in Nigeria, she was deprived of the opportunity to be her class monitor simply because she was a girl. She recalls episodes from her own life-and from the lives of her female friends-that illustrate this point. But our ideas of gender have not evolved very much” (18).

She posits that the men’s dominance is based on an outdated notion of superior physical strength indicating fitness to lead, and that “ have evolved. She observes that although the world has slightly more women than men, men still hold most positions of power. Such warnings made it clear to her that the word “feminist” implied an angry, bitter woman: “You hate men, you hate bras, you hate African culture, you think women should always be in charge ” (11).Īdichie discusses the injustice of societal expectations for women, both in African culture and in the world at large. She then remembers later episodes in her life, in which she was warned-often by friends or well-meaning strangers-against being a feminist. She remembers an argument that she had with her childhood friend Okoloma, in which he called her a “feminist”: “It was not a compliment. Adichie begins the essay by recalling her early experiences of sexism and anti-feminism.

We should all be a feminist